The tension that bound their gaze to each other was impossibly intense. He hadn't looked at someone like this in a long, long time. And it had been even longer since he'd been looked at the same way. Whether she felt it or not, he needed this. He knew it was going to happen. He also knew it probably wouldn't be anywhere as smooth as he'd remember it in the morning. But the way things were going in life right now, this could be a glimmer of distant light that he needed.
Barely a week had elapsed since he'd been used and tossed aside. His self worth had been drained completely. But before him was someone so clean, so free... and she was giving him it back. She was beautiful. Her hair fell casually down to her neck, flowing like a sea of dark red plasma. The eye shadow highlighted the twinkle of the cigarette she held in her hand. There was a soft, gentle sparkle of the need to feel loved, of vulnerability and fear-shaken-excitement, all hidden and masked by the calm blanket of someone regaining their confidence.
She lifted the cigarette to her lips, and he felt the familiar pounding of the blood through his cheeks. Her neck pulsated gently, as her hair fell back, exposing the soft skin. He wasn't even aware of intending to say it. "I have no idea what's happening here, you're talking to me and... well look at you, you're beautiful". She turned her head to the side, and looked down embarrassed, at her feet. "What? Don't look away, that means you don't believe me".
She took another breath through the stick in her hand. He could see she was uncomfortable. He hated this. She didn't believe him, she didn't know. He reached out his hand to comfort her and felt his hand touch the warm skin on her neck. It was like touching an electric fence, as soon as he felt contact, he wanted to withdraw, back to where it was safe. But he couldn't. He couldn't let her live not hearing those words. "Look into my eyes" he said, and he could feel the smile spreading across his face. After a deep breath, she lifted her head and looked back at him. There was something in her face that said she was torn between letting him say this and running off. "Oh my god... you.... you're absolutely..." he stopped, let the warm, stagnant air in his lungs pass out, and drinking in an ocean of cool, calming night air. "...you're beautiful", he finished.
She'd maintained eye contact throughout, and he was grateful that she tried. He was tempted to look away, but he couldn't. There was a tear just beginning in the corner of her eye, and he knew he'd touched a nerve. "I'm sorry, but you need to hear it" he started to say. She was still looking into his eyes and he felt it snap together inside. He let the smile fade from his face. Something was pushing him. There was only one thing he could do now. He moved his head close and closed his eyes. There was an almighty pounding of blood in his neck and his knees where physically shaking. But it felt right, he just had to. He felt the cold press against his mouth and felt the last two years of his life break away behind him. He moved back slightly and opened his eyes. She was still looking at him. He felt that smile come back. For a second, he thought she was about to run. But she didn't. She was still there, with him.
She'd come into his life at the absolute breaking point, and she'd tipped the scales back in his favour. And although she was now over a hundred miles away, and had her own life to get on with, he wouldn't forget that one wonderful March evening, their lives had overlapped. He hated the thought that she was gone, but he knew that out there, that beautiful smile was still there somewhere. And she would one day make someone the happiest they could possibly. And the grey rain clouds above made him realise just how alone he now was. The sun had set on his day in the sun, and now it was time to take shelter and wait for morning.
You gave me back my life, and whether you know it or not, I wont ever let you fade from my memory.